Hey Grey’s Fans!

Allow me to take a moment to introduce myself so that we can all be friends. I’m Pam and I’m the new MerDer reviewer. YAY!

I’m an Army wife and writer that moonlights as an event planner to, ya know, eat, pay bills, and other boring stuff like that.

My hobbies include karaoke, Grey’s Anatomy, roller derby,  Grey’s Anatomy, filmmaking, pop culture trivia, and copious amounts of TV watching of shows like…Grey’s Anatomy.

I was introduced to the show by my favorite cousin who has had a crush on Patrick Dempsey since the days of “Can’t Buy Me Love.” We watched Grey’s together every week to root for Meredith, fawn over Shepherd, and nod our heads at everything Bailey said.

My life got in the way and I lost track of the show when it returned for its second season. Then, Hollywood stole Sara Ramirez from us in New York (trust me, it was a big deal to the theatre community at the time) and I was sucked back in.

I ship MerDer (the OG ship) & Calzona, Cristina is my homegirl, Owen is my drinking buddy, Bailey is my Spirit Animal, I believe Mark & Lexie are sitting on the beaches of Heaven eating apples & Reese’s Pieces together, and Shonda Rhimes is God.

Anything else you wanna know? Ask me on Twitter (@PamFier).



It’s a MerDer World

Review of “Idle Hands” by Pam Fier

“Work keeps our minds active. It keeps us out of trouble. When we’re not working our hands are idle and the devil will find work for idle hands to do. And when you have an idle mind, well, thats the devil’s playground too.” 

Seeing a pregnant Meredith and Derek in bed at the end of the day is like a glass of cold lemonade after mowing the lawn on a hot summer afternoon. It’s a relief. It has taken 190 episodes to get to the rather simple opening moment of watching Derek, in super hot dad mode, talking to his unborn child about fly fishing while Meredith is reading a book on baby development. Well, it was a relief until Meredith starts to wonder if the it/he/she-Shepherd baby is going to be born deaf and/or blind with two heads, three arms, and 11 toes.  Derek, looking at Meredith like she’s the one with two heads, tells her Helen Keller went to Harvard. Just go to sleep, Meredith. Let us have this moment.

The next morning, we find ourselves at the newly christened Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. Derek, Meredith, and Meredith’s belly walk in like they own the joint. Oh, wait! They do. It’s been several weeks since they’ve been running the show. They have a new ER ready to open, fancy GSMH coffee sleeves floating around, and a bright and shiny new decal at their feet, in case they forget where they are, to prove it. Boss.

“Everyone needs some idle time to focus on something other than work. Even if it means focusing on something that’s a little bit scary.”

So Meredith has slept on it and now instead of a deaf and blind baby with extra heads, arms, and toes, she’s now wondering if the baby has a plethora of rare diseases and syndromes that your average bear can’t pronounce, let alone spell. They all sound bad and who goes there with her in the ‘worst baby disease ever’ game? Alex, the brother Meredith never wanted. But don’t fret. Cristina can and will fix anything that could possibly befall baby Shepherd.

Later, Meredith is in the middle of an ultrasound on a patient who notices Jackson and Owen staring over her shoulder like a couple of random creepers. Is the patient in need of a full body scan in their big, fancy machine? Um, no. No, she’s not and they are dismissed like the creepers that they are. In a manner that is vintage Grey’s, we are formally introduced to the patient, Madeline. In less than a minute, we know she’s a schoolteacher who has discovered a love of TV cooking shows after staying home sick for the first time in 28 years. Madeline is immediately endearing and earnest which means I’m already worried about what’s going to happen to her.

April and Meredith run into each other and play a game of catch up. April asks, “How’s that baby?” to which Meredith responds, “Oh, it probably has three arms and a tail.” Here, Meredith is just being Meredith but what is really nice here is the callback to the

friendship that developed between these two after April witnessed Meredith’s miscarriage at the end of season six. Meredith asks about Hottie Paramedic and that leads us down a road of April rambling about carnivals and all the fun rides she wants to take him on. Meredith, who has VIP season passes to the carnival (I mean, that’s how she’s ended up with this two headed baby, after all), suggests maybe God actually wants April to take Hottie Paramedic to the carnival. Leave it to Meredith to cut to the chase with some real talk. Riding Tilt-A-Whirls, ferris wheels, roller coasters, and bumper cars are very important in life. Oh, sex is important too in case you missed the correlation.

Bailey is like a dog with a bone regarding her new genome mapping project. Her pitch has been ignored by a glory-seeking Cristina, a surgery-hungry Jackson, a randy Callie & Arizona, and now she’s found the only way to get someone with pull to listen to her is to trap them while they’re digging around in somebody’s gall bladder. Smart move, Bailey. As she tries to sell the genetic mapping project, Meredith is finding that Madeline’s gallstones are actually advanced cancer cells. Dammit!

Hey, how is Derek’s day going? Well, he’s cutting open some poor kid’s skull to assess the damage done by an ATV accident. He wants to get an update to the father of the patient as soon as he can but Shane fears he will completely ‘roid out. Derek goes all Yoda Shepherd on him with, “Handle this, you will. Confident and positive you shall be. But promises you must not make. My voice, you are.” Shane soaks up Yoda Shepherd and says, “I’m Derek Shepherd. It’s a beautiful day to save lives.” Both Derek and the audience are like, “No. Just no.”

The time has come. We’re at the part when our hearts start to crack a bit. Meredith has just told Madeline she has an incurable cancer. Who walks in after this devastatingly shattering news? Not the ever-hopeful spouse or the distraught adult son or daughter. Three doe-eyed little kids who just want to see their favorite teacher. They’ve come to tell her the substitute teacher totally sucks (language, young man!). He’s a jerk, he won’t let them have free time, and the most cardinal of sins: his breath really smells. The kids want her back and they want her back now. But how can she tell them she won’t be back because she’s dying? Well, she doesn’t because she’s put on the spot and she panics. So she slaps a rainbow colored band-aid on it and tells the kids not to worry. After the students leave, Madeline struggles with how to tell them the halitosis sub is there to stay. This is one of those things that can’t be explained with logic. Madeline has one last lesson to teach them and the lesson totally sucks.

Derek is now cutting into his patient’s frontal lobe and that is freaking Shane out, big time, because the patient’s father just went all “Jerry Springer guest” on him in the waiting room. Derek, clearly recognizing the start of an infantile breakdown, starts talking to him about fly fishing. Soak that in, folks. He is talking to his intern as if he were a fetus. Bokey is a witness to it too and this is the part where we all miss Lexie.

We now find Meredith in the attendings’ lounge listening to Cristina rant that she is now being thought of as an administrative drone instead of a kick ass surgeon. McBaby is bending it like Beckham in utero and Meredith is not having it. She needs the baby to take a timeout and her only solution is to get Cristina to talk to it/him/her. But this is Cristina we’re talking about and she’s too badass for this. Menstrual cycles and penis talks she will do. But chatting up a fetus? Nothing doing. Cue the entrance of Baby Whisperer Bailey who has found the only person that will give her a chance to finally sell this genetic mapping project. Lo and behold, it works and McBeckham takes a knee. But the second Bailey leaves, the World Cup has recommenced.

More of Madeline’s students have arrived and they’ve come bearing gifts. Madeline must be the best teacher ever to get such an epically sweet get well poster. Meredith offers to tell the students Madeline can’t have visitors but she also subtly conveys with a look, “Maybe now is the time to rip off that rainbow colored band-aid.”

Yoda Shepherd is giving Shane a brief pep talk before he throws him to the wolf that is McRagey. Poor Shane barely gets a word in edgewise before the Hulk emerges. But rest assured, Yoda Shepherd saw the rage coming from a mile away and diffuses the Hulk to the point where he breaks down in his arms.

Instead of just three kids visiting Madeline, we now have a swarm of them as Meredith looks on. The eye contact between Meredith and Madeline makes my heart lurch and I feel like I need someone to hold my hand. Madeline heeds Meredith’s advice and begins to prepare her students for having Mr. Halitosis around a lot longer with a sad game of “What If?” It’s been a long time since a patient has brought me a bad case of the feels and it really sucks.

Shane asks Derek about how he tamed the Hulk. All Yoda Shepherd says is, “Sometimes gangsta you must get” and tells him to page with any updates as Meredith has now arrived for their ultrasound appointment. Derek asks Meredith how the baby is and she quips with, “Quiet now, probably dead” and Derek, again, tries to reel in the re-emergence of dark and twisty Meredith. She just wants to be prepared so she’s not surprised if something goes wrong. Derek calmly reminds her they own a hospital and all the machines in it that can read if Meredith is, indeed, carrying a Martian baby. Either way, they will be fine. I’m still on a Yoda high and totally believe him. So they take a look and what do they find? Not a single bloodsucking teratoma, one head, 11 fingers, wait…what? Nope, not a finger. That’s a baby penis! McBaby is a boy! Let the angels herald the impending arrival of McDreamy 2.0!

“Stepping back from work is the only way to get perspective. And it’s only after we have everything in perspective that we remember where our hands truly belong.”

So what did we learn after watching “Idle Hands”? As much as she has grown in the past nine seasons, Meredith is still very much a cynic. The bright and shiny Meredith that tells everyone everything will be fine is the yin to the yang that is dark and twisty Meredith that always expects the very worst. The change and progression is in how Meredith now handles her fears. There was a time where her fear would consume and almost cripple her. Now she’s at a point in her life where she can let Derek be the steady hand and voice while she can hide her fears behind charming flippancy. The more things and people change, the more they stay the same.


We are so excited to have Pam Fier on board and soon she will also be blogging. Please leave your comments below or tweet her @pamfier.

Make it Grey,

Lisa & Liv


  1. Love MerDer being reviewed by a fan.
    Mer was very funny this episode. It felt like this week we had a reminder that MerDer see things very differently. Der’s the optimist, Mer’s the pessimist. Thanks for the review. Looking forward to future reviews :grin:

    • @jules,

      Thank you for your comments! I, personally, had a lot of call backs to vintage MerDer this episode, specifically from late season 3. Dark & Twisty Meredith and Cool Hand Derek played off each other just like the good old days. Can’t wait to see if Meredith will be able to relax and enjoy her pregnancy or if she’s going to be a paranoid mess. We shall see!

  2. Great review!! I loved this episode so much, one of the best this season. I watched the MerDer’s last scene over and over. :mrgreen:

    • @Tia,

      I loved it, too. Definitely one of my top 3 this season. Thank you for your comments!

  3. Thank you, Pam! That was a wonderful review & touched on so many things I was feeling too, as a Mer/Der shipper. And, you brought up a few that I hadn’t caught! Welcome. :smile:

    • @olegreymer,

      Thanks for reading, the kind words, and the warm welcome!