Where oh where do the Grey’s writers come up with ideas for patient stories? I mean, I know a few of them are based on cases that have happened with real life. But when we get dropkicked into an episode where the patient has literally been sawed in half, I have to wonder about the deep, dark things these writers have rattling in their genius brains.
This episode starts out already at a 10 on the adrenaline scale. High octane, panicking confusion as we get the story that a magician took a chainsaw to his assistant (who is also his wife) and could not hear his other assistant shout out the safe word of “Titanic” (how apropos) when he was cutting into her. Meredith is the doctor that meets them in the ambulance bay and this one is just so crazy she calls for some serious back up.
But when you page Bailey these days you get Webber because, as we all know, Bailey has been going through some thangs. With Meredith and Webber working together, it’s like a father-daughter tag team and they are both of the same mindset of “How is this chick still breathing?!” I’m wondering the same thing because one of the patient’s kidneys has been shredded to pieces, they take out a huge part of her large intestine, she’s bleeding out all over the place, and the chainsaw even hit part of her spine. Callie comes in saying something about the patient’s films but seriously, if this woman’s insides are in teeny tiny pieces, I’m pretty sure her bones are the least of her concerns. She also mentions that Bailey hasn’t said a word to her and Meredith asks Webber if she has said anything to him. He answers with what I think we’re all thinking at this point, “I’m elbow deep in a chainsaw massacre. Now is not the time!”
During all this madness, Derek has stolen Brooks away from Chainsaw Massacre to work with him on a little girl who has a brain issue I can’t quit decipher because my focus is being torn away by a demon of a little boy that is the patient’s little brother. This kid is so obnoxious it makes my uterus shrivel up and it gets even worse when the boy hits Brooks on the head with one of his Army toys. Derek gives this family a look that says, “Exactly what evil spirit has possessed your son?” The poor patient just tells them to get on with the explanation of what’s wrong with her and how they’re going to fix it because her parents are going to be busy reeling this kid in.
Speaking of crazy boys, MerTina run into Alex and tease him about the heartbreak hotel situation he’s got going on with Jo. The only reason I’m happy about this is that I’m a MAC fan (old school, baby) and this scene brings them together again. He makes his exit via telling them to shove it and they continue on as Meredith informs Cristina that Bailey is mad at The Board for calling the CDC on her. In typical Yang fashion, she jets off to Bailey, not to try to win her over, but to talk over one of her cases. This leaves Meredith alone to wonder where the hell she was going before she ran into Cristina and Alex. Pregnancy brain is no joke. Her pager saves her aimless strolls through the hospital as it seems Chainsaw Massacre’s stomach has burst open and she has to go back into surgery. The magician and the other assistant beg for the doctors to save her life but then it suddenly turns into a Jerry Springer episode. The assistant explodes and tells the magician that she and his wife are crazy in love in front of the doctors and she’s loud enough that anyone could hear her. Well, that’s awkward…
You know what’s more awkward than that, though? Callie coming to Meredith’s and Webber’s OR to talk about Bailey being mad at all of them. Seriously, Callie? Now is not the time! She tries to coax him into talking to Bailey, Meredith agrees, and then Dad, er, I mean Webber goes off saying, “No, I will not speak to her! She’s pissed, it’s mainly my fault, and I have a life to save. So can you please back off so I can do my job?” Meredith looks at him like, “Oooooo! Daddy is mad.”
So it seems all the best doctors are on their 15 minute breaks now because they all gathered to wait outside of the women’s restroom waiting for Bailey to emerge. What??? I could’ve sworn there were women being sawed in half, a baby with its brain growing outside of his face, a man in a coma, and a sorority girl with her stomach blown out these people had to deal with. But I guess we can always make time for a little groveling. Other than this being a scene with The Board throwing Jackson under the bus, I was beyond thrilled that Derek called back to his drunk emo stretch in season five. To this day, that is my favorite Derek storyline. I was so giddy that he brought it up. To be honest, if that didn’t make Bailey pause to chat maybe everyone should follow Arizona’s thought and leave her alone.
Back to the Chainsaw Massacre, Meredith has to reign in the magician and the assistant after they keep snipping at each other to make them see what really matters. What really matters is that the magician sawed his wife in half and there’s really no coming back from that so he should let her go to be with the assistant. Thanks, Dr. Grey!
Derek is back to his patient with the brain/hand issue I still have no clue about and back to the demon little brother. The brother is bored and starts running around like the Tasmanian Devil. Derek cools him down by telling him that he better be nice because he put magic in his sister’s head that gives her special powers. Heather follows up by saying they actually put a vampire in his sister’s head and he better watch his back. Anything to shut this kid up, right?
After smacking some reality into the magician and his wife’s lover, Meredith returns to Bailey’s lab to tell her that she sewed a woman back together again. Meredith tells her she needs to stop the silent treatment and tells her she’s being selfish in another attempt to get Bailey talking. However, this effort is all for naught because Bailey is going all “Rain Man” on herself and surrounding herself with petri dishes.
Well, it’s the end of the work day and you know what that means, don’t ya? Meredith and Derek are at the Dream House, this time, with Zola in tow. Slowly, but surely, my uterus has returned as the adorableness that is Zola Grey Shepherd has somehow finagled dark and twisty Meredith Grey into wearing tiger ears and got the dreamiest doctor in all the land to wear a princess tiara. I am foaming at the mouth with all the cuteness that is in this scene. But this is where we get to the heart of matter for them because, truth be told, I was wondering what Meredith and Derek were doing in this episode. After dealing with Psycho Boy, Derek wonders what sort of hellion Meredith may give birth to and how it will affect his precious, perfect Zola. Will McFetus be a jerk that steals all of Zola’s toys? Probably because that’s what little boys do. Will he hate her? Probably because that’s what little brothers feel for older sisters for a bit. Will he be a monstrous demon baby? Hopefully not but you never know. But like he says to Zola, “You don’t have any idea what’s gonna happen to you.” Foreshadowing much? Either way, Derek, if you want to drink tea with the girls you gotta get that pinky up a little bit higher.
Where to begin, my friends? I don’t know, really. I guess we can start with the theme of the episode being magic, right? Does it exist? Do you believe in it? To what extent? I could argue the theme with everyone else’s story on the show except Meredith and Derek. They pretty much served as supporting characters this episode. It seemed that everyone else had something major going on except them. Meredith’s patient was more a mirror for what’s going on with Richard and Bailey. Even Derek got tangled up in whatever’s going on with Jo and Alex. Maybe Derek learned that the threat of magic can be used to strike fear in demonic little boys with older sisters. That could come in handy. The episode ends with Meredith saying in her voiceover, “…there is magic in knowing that while not everything can be repaired, most everything can be survived.”
I don’t know about anyone else but that last line sank like a stone in my stomach. I feel like this was a hint of things to come. Am I being a nervous nellie? Could I be paranoid? Did anyone else see Meredith falling down the stairs in next week’s promo?!
Like I said before, I believe this is the calm before the literal storm. Someone hold me, please. Things are about to get real.
Please comment below or tweet @pamfier with your insights on MerDer and/or compliment her on another epic review-thanks for reading and visiting Greys Gabble!! Lisa & Liv