« Dane Family: Post-Holiday Clean-Up! | Home | Rebecca and Eric Out to Lunch »
3×01: In A Split Second…
By MadiLovesMerDer | December 30, 2009 | 
Hi everyone!
Hope you all had a nice Christmas and have a great New Years.
As usual, I write about 100% MerDer, sometimes with a few other characters thrown in… so here’s the latest review from season 3 episode 1. I really felt compelled to re-watch this today and write about it 
Hope you enjoy it.
(credit for pic – freakyx)
In A Split Second… your world can change. You meet a man at a bar, whom you have a one-night stand with. A man that is amazing, but you think nothing of it. Because, It’s just sex, its just another guy, and you were drunk. You were both drunk. So, how were you to know that in that split second, meeting Derek Shepherd would be the end of life, as you know it. Because really, once you’ve fallen hard and fast for this man… you’ll never be able to come back from it. You’ve cried over him, you’ve suffered; you’ve pined for him for months and months whilst he was busy trying to be a better man. Busy trying to do the right thing and be with his ‘wife’, meanwhile… you’re all dark and twisty… wishing that you had never met him. That none of this had ever happened. That, that night at the bar had never happened. But then, you think to yourself… I love him. Regardless of all the crap, and the messy relationship that unfolded, and the breaking up, and the baggage he has; you… love… him. You’ve said it before. You’ve asked him to pick you, to choose you, to love… you. And even if he didn’t choose you at the time… it will always be him.
But… the split second that’s going to bite you in the ass… Well, it’s the one where you ran off into a vacant exam room. That moment, where Derek frantically ran after you. Where you both yelled at each other, you were both angry, and frustrated with everything that had torn you both apart. Because, no matter how much you have both tried to deny it… you LOVE EACH OTHER.
Finally something inside of him snaps, and you’re in his arms. Engaging in the most passionate and desperate kiss you’ve ever experienced. This moment changed everything. In reality, he’s still married. And you… you were an accessory to him cheating on his wife. Thus, the guilt has set in, and you’re stuck in freak out mode trying to make sandwiches for Shiva. You need comfort food. Izzie isn’t the only one having a crisis. Right now, you’re avoiding the issue… but, the thing is, Cristina can see right through it.
Uh oh… BUSTED!!!
Meredith: Sandwiches are comfort food.
Cristina: What’s wrong with you?
Meredith: Everything with me is fine. It’s Izzie we’re worried about.
Cristina: What did you do?
Meredith: Denny died. Burke got shot. Let’s just have some perspective and remember that what is a tiny slightly small…
Cristina: Whatever spit it out.
Meredith: I lost my panties last night.
Meanwhile, Derek is sitting on a staircase thinking about how badly he screwed up. That he probably should have just ended things with Addison and chosen Meredith because really, he’s been in love with Meredith this whole time. The whole time he was trying to do the right thing, trying to be the honorable man… he was lying to everyone, including himself. He’s waiting for Meredith to come in, to find out exactly… “WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?”
Plagued with guilt about her tryst with Derek, Mer lays her head down on the dining room table and divulges all last night’s happenings to Cristina…
Cristina: You had sex with Derek in an exam room at the prom?
Meredith: Yes.
Cristina: Last night, you and Shepherd did it?
Meredith: Yes.
Cristina: You and McDreamy did the nasty-nasty?
Meredith: Christina!
Cristina: I’m not judging. I’m just trying to wrap my mind around it. I mean you’re with Finn. He’s with Addison.
Meredith: He’s married to Addison.
Cristina: Yeah. Well what did Derek say?
Meredith: He said “Meredith, what does this mean?”
Cristina: Ok, he has sex with you and he’s standing there all McGuilty and all he can say for himself is “what does this mean?” What does this mean?
Meredith: I don’t know.
Cristina: Are you going to go back to Finn? Is Shepherd leaving his wife?
Meredith: I just…
Then, as Meredith, of course you’re going to have a flash back to your mother and Richard arguing and him leaving her. JOY!
And now… you think to yourself. You’re stuck. The only logical word you can think of is… CRAP!
Derek’s just about to go home to find Meredith, and bam… here comes another split second that could change everything. Derek … is now stuck in quarantine. Stuck there… with nothing but George freaking out that he’s dying and you’re left there with your own thoughts about all the things you’ve done wrong. All the bad decisions and all the mistakes you’ve made. Then something hits you. You get a flash back about when you first met Meredith. When your life ended… because from that moment on… this wonderful, caring, passionate, bossy, amazing woman… will forever be in your thoughts. Regardless of whether you two are together or not, it’s not even possible for you to make love to anyone else without images of her coming into your head. You can’t make love to your ‘wife’ because… you’re not in love with her. She’s not Meredith Grey. She’s not the one you want to be with… the one you want to be with… is the one you rejected to fill a god complex about being a better guy. About doing the right thing, instead of following your heart. Then you think to yourself… what an idiot I’ve been.
This part upsets me too 
… the part in the episode where Addison has a flash back. Derek finds her cheating with Mark, and goes to throw all her clothes outside. That scene was excruciatingly painful. That look of utter disgust on Derek’s face. The disappointment, the anger, the betrayal expressed on his face. I always wonder how someone who felt that hurt, and that betrayed could ever give the person who did that to them another chance. This baffles me. If it were me, I couldn’t do it. No matter how much I loved the person. No matter how much I cared for them. If ever I’d been cheated on, I wouldn’t be able to take that person back. How could you be a better person by taking someone back, when they were the one that ruined the relationship. Even if you were absent. Even if they just wanted to be noticed and wanted someone to care. You don’t do that. It’s wrong. The anger and pain, and the tears streaming down Derek’s face cuts right through me every time I watch that flash back. That, and the way he frowns.. It really breaks my heart. Meredith would never betray him like that. Never.
Ok… back to it.
Mer is ranting about living under a banner of avoidance… then Finn turns up. Just her luck. So, as Meredith… you scamper off as quick as you can. Cause that’s what you do… you avoid. Laying on a bathroom floor is far better than talking about doing the “Nasty Nasty” with Derek.
So you lay on the cold bathroom floor, listening to your friend pour her heart out… and all you can do is let her know that she’s not alone. Denny may be gone, but she still has you and everyone else around her to care for her in her time of need.
Derek’s is rustling through lockers to find food… and then… has a moment of truth.
Derek: You know, there are moments O’Malley. Moments that in a split second your life changes forever. Before you know it you’re somewhere else.
Then the worst happens… they find out they’ve been exposed to the plague.
Derek: A split second…
Flashback to that miraculous moment where you met a girl in a bar that ended up being the love of your life.
Derek watches Meredith as she orders her drink. One can only imagine the dirty thought’s in his mind right now… but what I see in his eyes is him admiring her beauty.
Joe: Straight Tequila? Really? You are going to be sorry in the morning.
Meredith: I’m always sorry in the morning. But tomorrow I start my first day at work, so keep them coming.
Derek: (to Joe) How you doing? Double scotch, single malt please. (to Meredith) So is this a good place to hang out?
Meredith: I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been here before.
Derek: Oh well you know what, I haven’t either. First time in town. I’m new in town. First time in Seattle. I got a job so… Ah you’re ignoring me.
Meredith: I’m trying to.
Derek: You shouldn’t ignore me.
Meredith: Why not?
Derek: Because I’m someone you need to get to know to love.
Meredith: Oh really?
Derek: Oh yes.
Meredith: So if I know you, I’ll love you?
Derek: Oh yes.
Meredith: You really like yourself, huh?
Derek: Just hiding my pain. (They both laugh together)
The way he looks at her now, is just… well… makes me giddy.
Derek: So what’s your story?
Meredith: I don’t have a story. I’m just a girl in a bar.
Derek: I’m just a guy in a bar.
This moment is amazing to me. They have no idea what’s ahead of them. No idea about the pain and happiness and the love they’re going to feel. To me, it’s wonderful and tragic at the same time. I just wish that Derek had been divorced already but… then it wouldn’t be a drama. Everything can’t be bright and shiny. There would be no intrigue.
So, then it’s laid out in front him… Derek… has never told Meredith he loves her. Not once. That hits him hard. From what I understand, all through season 2 one of the hardest things he had to do was not tell or show Meredith how much he loved her.
George: You ever tell Meredith? You ever tell her that you love her?
Derek: No.
The fact that he’s never said it, not once… hits him like a hard smack in the face.
Mer walks in on Callie and Finn chatting and laughing… and he tells her that Derek is no good for her, and that he’s a good man. He may be a good man, but… that won’t change anything. Because Meredith… loves Derek.
Derek is still stuck in quarantine and says…
It feels like I’ve been in here a very long time. It might be too late…
Then, quarantine is over! Finally… Derek can go to find Meredith.
Because as Derek… you need to let Meredith know you love her. You need to let her know how stupid you were, that you chose wrong, that she is the love of your life and you’re going to do anything in your power to get her back. You come into her kitchen to find her cleaning up, and you look at her … and you’re sure. You’re sure of what you need to say. What you need to do is clear.
Derek: Hi
Meredith: hi.
Derek: I was going to come over this morning but uh-
Meredith: I heard, the quarantine.
Derek: Yeah.
Meredith: So what does this mean?
Derek: It means you have a choice. You have a choice to make. I don’t want to rush you into making a decision before you’re ready. This morning I was going to come over, and I was going to say- what I wanted to say was…now all I can say is that… I’m in love with you.
I’ve been in love with you for…ever. I’m a little late. I know I’m a little late telling you that. But I just want you to take your time…you know. Take all the time you need…cause you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I chose wrong. (Mer has tears in her eyes) All right. Good night.
The look of absolute adoration on Derek’s face when he says he loves her just melts me. It makes me believe in a greater good. It makes me believe in fate and in love just that bit more than I already did. It reinforces those things… and allows a person to dream. I cry every time he says “I’ve been in love with you forever”. It ruins me, and I’m sitting there bawling my eyes out. That coupled with the song “All I need” by Mat Kearney… is just magical. You feel like you’re really there… in that moment… witnessing everything first hand. It’s got to be one of my favorite scenes from season 3. It’s breathtaking.
Then the look Meredith has on her face… is just priceless. The tears threatening to fall, the shock that she’s in… she’s literally speechless. It’s like … you think. Finally. Finally that brainless brain man has grown a brain! (LOL) Finally he’s admitted out loud that he loves her. And he chooses now. After hurting her and making it painful for her to even breath when she’s around him… he says this now. What the hell? Why couldn’t he have done it sooner?
It’s a split second like this… the one that shocks you to your core. The one where you think you’re dreaming. The moment where life as you know it ends. Because… the love of your life has finally admitted that he loves you back. He’s finally gotten the guts to say it. But… is it too late? Is everything you’ve gone through… All the hurt. The suffering. The anger and the pain… Is it worth leaping again? Taking that chance… will it be worth it? Or will everything you’ve worked towards fail once again? Only time will tell. But for right now… it’s that split second… that’s awoken your heart and dared you to dream for something more. You no longer want to settle.
–
So, who cried during this episode? By now, it’s obvious (or at least I think it is) that I cry in most episodes. I’m a sap for loving moments, or people crying, or anything remotely sad. It cuts me deep. Especially for an episode like this!
Did you cry? And… what was your favorite part of the episode?
Sound off in the ‘comments’ section below or come over to The GG Forum and have a chat 
–
Xoxo MadiLovesMerDer
Topics: Blogger: Madi Loves MerDer, Derek Shepherd, Ellen Pompeo, Meredith Grey, Patrick Dempsey, Pics / Scans / Videos, Reviews / Podcasts / Blogs, Season 3 | 9 Comments » |
December 30th, 2009 at 16:52
Oh, that was an amazing review Madi
. It is one of my favourite episodes from season 3. My favourite part is when he tell her that he has been in love with her forever. We all knew that.. but he never told Mer.. so it was amazing the look on both faces!
Also loved the flashback of their first meeting, when both of them were meeting the love of their life there, without even knowing!
Can’t wait for another review from your’s! Happy new year 2010!
@MerDer4ever, Haha, glad you enjoyed it!
I really love the music they played during the flashback at the bar. Grant Lee Philips singing ‘Under the Milky Way’ … and then Mat Kearney singing ‘All I Need’ is so great. I learned how to play them on the guitar cause I was that obsessed. Happy New Year to you too 
December 30th, 2009 at 21:10
Another perfect review, Madi
I seriously love this episode. The moment where Derek tells Mer he’s in love with her…. I just melt every.single.time. The looks! Perfection. I remember yelling at Mer for not running after him when he told her, lol.
And the flashback of their first meeting is so cute hee.
Looking forward to the next review
Happy New Year!
@Sina, Oh, happy to go back to those moments for you
Yes, Derek saying I love you … is just… amazing. I do believe I was left with my jaw open because she didn’t go after him! Haha.
Happy New Year to you too
Hope you have a great night!
December 30th, 2009 at 21:45
I’m crying now as I’m reading this and I’m a huge sap so yeah I secretly cry in almost every epi. Trying to hide it from my husband. I love reading your take on the episodes. This one in particular. I have to keep playing that scene where he tells her he loves her cause its just amazing and with the song. Ten times more emotional
@Angela, Awh, don’t worry. I cried when I got to writing about that bit! I was writing through tears. Haha. I try to hide it too. Haha. I usually watch Grey’s alone for that reason. Guaranteed to get tears every episode.
December 31st, 2009 at 00:48
OMG, Madi…you did it again…great review. My favorite scenes were all of your favs. Even your review had me teary-eyed. And I’m way too old to still get teary-eyed over this, but I love your reviews, please keep them coming. Happy New Year to you & yours.
December 31st, 2009 at 06:58
lovelovelove this episode, and lovelovelove this review!
this is one of my favorite episodes ever. i thought the flashback scenes were amazing.
I, too, cry in this episode. When he kicks addie out of the house i cry, because the look of pain and hurt on derek’s face just breaks me.
and the scene where derek says ily to meredith.. oh its just AMAZING. one of my favorite merder scenes EVER!
“The look of absolute adoration on Derek’s face when he says he loves her just melts me.”
SAME HERE. i cry and smile at the same time watching it!
again, amazing review to an amazing episode (:
December 31st, 2009 at 07:19
Great one!
I had to laugh while reading your review, it’s like you entered my mind on this. I agree with everything you said and I love this episode cause everything is ok again. All the tears of season 2 are forgotten and all the bad things that happened.
I love the flashbacks, especially the ones where Derek and Mer meet in the bar and everything is so new and fresh and easy. Especially easy. They don’t know what lies ahead and that makes them so vulnerable and … true (is thatthe right word? I mean they don’t pretend, they just get lost in the moment). And the flashbacks where Der kicks Addie out are so intense, it makes a knot in my stomach.
Keep on rockin’!